My Rocky Grand Canyon (Poetry)

Sometimes I try to mirror my actions to match my thoughts,
But one primary element
I have yet been able to own and control
Are my feelings for this fool.
His words and actions
Like a revolver every so often
Shoots me direct to the chest
“I loved you more before you were a bitch”
And I never address his steps or his aim.
I just stay clinching my eyes shut, hoping my tears disappear.

Yet every time…
Every time I pass my hands over the ripple marks
Caused by his roughness,
I cry and without panic.
Sometimes I wish he would try to beat on me again,
Use me his personal punching bag
Just so I could retaliate ready for my fate.
But never twice in the same day,
He simply changes his game in hope I stay.
He silently lays and stares
At me his so called baby.

At times he tried to comfort me
But as his dead rock touched my skin,
It became easier to cry my pain away.
Because although anywhere would be better than where I am right now,
I choose to be here.
Here with My Rocky Grand Canyon,
Beauty unknown till you really hike it
I guess…I guess I’m stuck.
Stuck between love and this counterfeit consumer
I surely think I was priced wrong.
More than 2 dollars worth
Heart owned to a wreck
It’s hard to connect
I just want full respect
And just then-maybe just then
I might be able to live this-life content.

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